February 2010
118 posts
Happy Happy Birthday Bonnie!!
I miss you more than you could ever have imagined. I have writer’s block. I am at a loss for words. Somewhere, you are laughing. I have no idea how you and I EVER had a conversation. I think we just agreed to take turns talking. An outsider probably couldn’t have followed the dialogue. But today, I simply do not have the words grand enough to tell the world about you.
There have been...
January 2010
53 posts
I HATE HATE HATE snow.
More accurately, I hate snow in the South. Snow in the South means black ice. Ice means trees falling, which in turn means no electricity. The South is humid. Humid is wet. Wet freezes. In my MIND no electricity would be great. I love transcendentalism. I envision Emerson writing timeless master pieces by candlelight. I feel like I should be inspired to follow in his footsteps. In REALITY, I...
“The master in the art of living makes little distinction between his work and...”
– James Michener
I LOVE this. I believe it to the tips of my toes. Now just to find a way to LIVE it…
Note to THAT Gatekeeper....
It is not necessary to live life as a bitch. The sun DOES shine. The skies ARE sometimes blue. And most importantly..what you put out into the Universe..is what you get back. This may come as a shock..but some very successful gatekeepers..maybe even your predecessor, and most certainly your replacement are friendly, happy people. Bitch does not equal proficient.
Why am I on a rant you ask? Well,...
I have never been a mother
and because of that I do not know what it feels like to face losing a child. I know that when I watched Bonnie’s mom paint her fingernails hours before she died, that I prayed I would never be a mom. In my hyper sensitive emotional state, to never be a mom, meant to never lose a child. In that moment the loss was physical. You could reach out and touch it. And unlike Bonnie’s beautiful...
Thank God for Miracles
cantweight:
It’s hard to believe that 6 years ago today I was sitting in the surgery waiting room at St. Judes while they were removing Sierrah’s right eye. I can still remember those feelings as if it were yesterday. Some people may think I’m weird by saying this, but I don’t ever want to forget those feelings. Why? Because I don’t ever want to take my life or one of my children’s lives for...
“The unreal is more powerful than the real, because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it. Because it’s only intangible ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last. Stone crumbles. Wood rots. People, well, they die. but things as fragile as a thought, a dream, a legend, they can go on and on.” - Chuck Palahniuk
I LOVE the quote by Sir Cecil Beaton.
To be ORDINARY, or COMMONPLACE, would be a travesty…Strive to be extroadinary…or go home.
“Be daring, be impractical, be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and...”
– Sir Cecil Beaton
Today is not my day.
I want to run. Run like I used to run. Hard and fast until it felt like I was flying. Of course this is the kind of thing that destroyed my knee. Let’s talk about today. I am still waiting on the FBI to bust down the door and recite me my rights after I told that nice foreign gentleman at the Gateway help desk last night what he could do with his camel. Yea…probably no need to fill in...
That Dixie Chicks song is so ME that I wish I had...
I ask myself every day why I can’t just go with the flow. Why I HAVE to say what is on my mind. I swear, I would EXPLODE if it didn’t come out. Why CAN’T I just take the easy way out?? I have made life so much harder than it has to be by always swimming up hill. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
urbanredneck:
meredithbklyn:joyengel:
Dixie...
“I’ve missed over 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300...”
“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own...”
– Paulo Coelho
(via kerismasunshine)
I have the best husband in the world.
I am BEYOND cranky. I passed that about four sleepless nights ago. I have entered what I call “baby tired.” Basically, I want to sit in the middle of the floor and scream and cry until I go to sleep. I have went through A LOT of changes in the past eighteen months. Personally and professionally. The professional ones included a big risk. I have no idea whether it will pay off. What I...
1 tag
“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude,...”
– Charles Swindoll
“Life’s disappointments are harder to take when you don’t know any swear words.”
– Calvin and Hobbs
THIS is why I can’t quit cussing!!!
I LOVE Romy and Michele!!
Life is about health, happiness and FUN!! Not Wealth, status and work!
Note to the Toilet Paper gods....
You don’t save money buying the cheap, scratchy kind because you have to use at least twice as much of it to feel half as clean. So who ever makes these decisions in all public restrooms..please take note.
P.S. The same thing is true about Paper Towels…
“None of us will ever accomplish anything excellent or commanding except when he...”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
Today I cried.
I am no stranger to the funeral home. My mom has drug me through countless services because my dad avoids the place at all cost. I think he has some issue with death. Well, I imagine we ALL have some strong issues with death. Dad hates the funeral home but checks the O-bits everyday. He says he is checking to see if he’s in there. Since Bonnie died I am following in his footsteps. I avoid...
I want to say something to my cousin....
I do not know if this is the appropriate forum. Our relationship is strange. My family, like ALL families has issues. She and I have little in common, but the things that we have in common make us invincible.
S,
I love you. I love you BIG. I have ALWAYS loved you. Even when I didn’t like you. And P.S., I know that you haven’t always liked me either!! But I know that you have always...
We as Americans continue to stand by and watch as...
Welcome to my soap box. And just so you know…this is the EXACT reason I can’t seem to quit cussing. I just saw my first “white van” ticket today. Thankfully it wasn’t mine, but I am fairly certain I have one in the mail. What the heck is going on in the state of Tennessee, and many others, that we don’t have the right to face our accuser?? Instead you get a...
It's not the hormones...
the world is out to get me today…Oh..wait..that sounds a little like hormone induced paranoia…I will get back to you later…
I want to start by saying I am on my period..
Yes I know you guys did not WANT to hear that did not NEED to hear that. Trust me, I am sure I contributed to my Dad’s heart attack years ago simply because I don’t have the “screen” normal people have. SO anyhow, the period is important because it establishes my state of mind. I am a BITCH today. I am cranky, irrational, and mean spirited. I am on a rant today. I talk too...
So much for not cussing...
One sleepless night later, and I road raged all the way to work. I have decided that some people just DESERVE to be cussed! Ok. Refocused on the goal. It is not going to beat me. I am going to be successful in cleaning up my language!
I am going to quit cussing...
I sound like a sailor. I have a degree in English (please don’t use this to judge me, I long ago disregarded the rules of grammar). I have read Dante and Chaucer. I have idolized Whitman, Emerson and Faulkner. I have read well over 1,000 books. Most of them are still tucked safely on one of the many book shelves in my house. I am in love with words. I have access to an extensive vocabulary,...
“Always do Sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep...”
– Ernest Hemingway
I don't remember when I started crying...
I have always been passionate but not incredibly emotional. When I was in college I remember standing in a frat house and the flavor of the month telling me I “would be a great catch if I wasn’t such a party girl.” Actually he screamed it rather publicly from a crowded balcony. It’s safe to say MOST girls would have ran crying from the room.
Well, I have never been MOST...
I saw some Canada geese
flying in formation. Well kinda. The thing is Geese are a lot like people. There is of course the leader, and almost all the others follow exactly as they are expected too. But then there was a goose or two on each side that stepped out of line. The formation wasn’t quite perfect, and some would blame the misplaced geese for not following direction. For me these geese make me smile. I...
What is it about the Snow
that makes you want to catch it with your tongue?? I was outside my favorite boutique coffee shop yesterday when I was assaulted by juicyflakes and I almost succumbed to the urge to stop, and stick my tongue out and catch them. I am not a fan of the cold. I dream of a beach house this time of year. I recluse as much as possible. I tell people I hibernate. It is no surprise that I have...
I hate vomit...
I rank this as the number one reason that I am afraid motherhood is not for me. I am not talking about the normal aversion to the sight and smell of puke. I am talking full blown panic followed by wall clutching nausea. In the past my roommates would clean up my cat’s hairballs, because they said it was simply less disgusting than hearing me gag for 20 straight minutes. What they...